The "One and Done" Debaucle

Well, I would be lying if I said that this post is not something I struggle with.  I would also be lying if I didn't get at least 4 to 10 comments on this topic per month.  The ole One and Done scenario.  One child.  Two parents.  A family of three.  This type of family seems very (a) disturbing, (b) ridiculous, (c) selfish, or (d) a cop out to many people.  I will preface this post by saying (again), that just because I don't want tons of kids, I do fully support and celebrate with those of you who do!

When R and I first got married, he totally wanted kids at some point and I wasn't really sure whether I did or not.  From the ages of 22 to 26, the only rear end I ever wanted to wipe was my own.  I'm not really a huge "baby" person.  I did not babysit very much as a teen.  I do not insist upon holding and sniffing every infant I see.  If I smell "odors" coming from said infants, I do not have much of a filter when it comes to the look on my face once the smell reaches my nostrils.  So, needless to say, I was kinda on the fence about motherhood.  Well, R and I kicked the "growing our family" ball around the yard a time or two and I began to pray.  I asked the Lord to give me a desire for a baby.  WARNING:  If you ask the Lord to give you something like this, BE PREPARED!  He gives it to you in spades!

So I was bitten with the baby bug around the same time that we were told due to my health, I needed to give getting pregnant some time in order to get myself as healthy as possible.  Well, we got right on that.  I got an insulin pump in preparation (before the baby bug even bit) and I began a healthier lifestyle that included more exercise.  So we were on the right track with my diabetes and then I was diagnosed with PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome).  The Dr.'s last words to me on my way out the door of his office were:  "When you're ready to get pregnant, come in and we will start fertility treatments."  SAY WHAT?!!  Well, of course in dramatic fashion, I call R, bawling.  I had visions of John and Kate plus 8 running through my head and I was freaking out.  So R, in his non-dramatic fashion, calmly says, we'll deal with it when the time comes.  So I hang up with him and call my dear friend who is an NP.  She says in her non-dramatic fashion, that my first cycle off of the pill would be the most likely for us to get pregnant without help.  Well, I took that little tidbit and ran to the Lord with it.  We started praying that if this was the time (even though we had not been cleared on the diabetes front), then we were on board with His plan for our family.

Nine weeks later, we got a positive pregnancy test and were ecstatic!!!!!  Pregnancy was not bowl of cherries for me (sick for 8 months with a slight addiction to anti-nausea meds :) ).  In fact, I feel I was completely misled by those who told me that you would forget all about the pain and discomfort of pregnancy and labor once you saw the baby.  LIE!!!  Not true for me at all.  As I sit here typing this with almost 4 year old sitting behind me, I can VIVIDLY remember every wave of nausea, drop in blood pressure and blood sugar, fainting and dizzy spell and migraine that came down that 9 month long pike.  However, J is exactly what I wanted and didn't even know it.  He is wonderful and terifying at the same time.  I have learned more about the Father through my son than I thought possible.  What a blessing this child is to R and to me.

Now,  ever since I left Wadley Regional Medical Center in Texarkana, TX the question I am most often asked is:  "When are you going to have another one?"  REALLY?!!  The answer Emily is always prepared to give is:  "We're not.  I am satisfied with the one I have and don't want anymore."  But the reality is, the Lord is in control of this situation.  If He wants us to have another baby, I trust Him to give me just as much desire to have another baby as He did for the first one.  And even though I very openly run my big mouth about being completely done with having babies and that if I had another one they would have to commit me to a mental ward, I love God more than I love me (at least that's what I want) and I will do what He says happily.  I am also more than satisfied with the family of three He has allowed me to be a part of.  I feel so content and happy with where we are and where we are going. 

So, is this issue closed?  Not until menopause for me I suppose...but as of right now, at this hour, we are a solid family of three holding in the zone defense style of discipline and loving every minute of it!  Until next time...

Business Trip 2012

Well, R is on a business trip essentially until Friday this week.  That means, J and I are on our own.  Now, this should not be a big deal considering several factors:

A.  I am an adult and I birthed this child and survived.
B.  There is only one of him and one of me.  We have made the switch from zone to one-on-one defense.
C.  R worked in Houston for 6 weeks before we moved there and J and I stayed in SS on our own Sunday  afternoon until Friday night for all of those weeks...and survived.
D.  I am an adult.

But I completely admit to being FREAKED OUT!  I do not like being by myself.  I know, technically, I'm not by myself, but J doesn't currently understand sarcasm, snide comments, or obedience, so it is a lonely road for someone with my sense of humor to be with someone who so completely lacks as such.  R is my link to the adult world.  Since I am no longer in the work force, I don't get a whole lot of adult interaction other than hi's and bye's at the preschool drop off and a few giggles in between grunts at the gym on a day to day basis.  R is how I know I still think thoughts above a 5 year old level.  I will miss him so much this week.  J has already asked for him about 10 times since 7:00 a.m.  Needless to say, we think R is the best.  Best husband, best daddy, best provider, and best friend just to name a few.  He is really excited about this trip, so that makes letting him go a lot easier.  Hopefully, our hearts will grow all the fonder in the wake of this short lived absence!

On another note, I know I need to start posting pics.  I'm not really super good at that type of thing.  I will put a few in this post that are a little out of date because current ones are trapped on my digital camera until I put them on here.  These are still cute, though!  Have a great Monday!

Because he's cute!

Because they're cute!

Because we're cute!

This actually was taken recently at our Sunday School egg hunt.  He is getting so big!

He is Risen Indeed!

Hope everyone had a fabulous Resurrection Sunday yesterday! We did for sure. R and I hosted both sets of parents and his sister and her husband at our house yesterday after attending our local Easter Sunday church service. Now, anyone who knows me, knows that I'm no cook, so the pride choking, er I mean, swallowing that had to happen on my part was quite a feat. My mom, could care less if what I make tastes good as long as it doesn't kill her. I think she would still pay me a compliment even if she threw up all night from severe food poisoning! My mother-in-law, not so worried about her either. She is a fantastic cook, but she is also very gracious, so if what I had made brought tears of disgust to her eyes, she would just dab them, smile and choke the rest of it down. No, I was more concerned with what R would think. He grew up in a house that had a yummy dessert every night and homemade casseroles several times a week. He would be sitting across the table from both the woman who fed his childhood and youth and the woman who feeds his manhood and eventually his "old" manhood! I didn't want him to be wishing he was at his mom's table instead of mine.

But the meal went off without any major glitches (One of the crockpots quit working. Praise the Lord it quit working after the meat was cooked and it was just supposed to be on the warming setting.). In fact, as we were going to bed last night, he complimented me on the meal and the hostessing. Melt my heart! Now, if he dreamed of creamed gravy, chicken strips, beef tips and rice, or cherry pie from days gone by, that's his business and I'm fine with that as long as he dreams about it to himself and doesn't discuss it in the morning!

On a more spiritual note, yesterday I really had a burden for what my sin had done to Jesus on Friday and how God loved me so much He rose Jesus up to conquer it on Sunday. How many Easters have I just glossed over this and missed out on such an intimate meditation with the Lord? Too many, my friends, even it was just one. Hopefully this time will spur new growth in me and my relationship with Christ over the coming months, so that the next time I celebrate His victory over death and sin, I will know and love Him all the more! "Oh precious is the flow that washes white as snow. No other fount I know. Nothing but the blood of Jesus!" Thank you, Jesus for your blood and willingness to obey the Father while you were completely human and sinless for this woman who is completely human and sinful.

Against My Window...I CAN Stand the Rain!

Can I just say that I LOVE a good storm in the afternoon?!! It never fails that it tricks my very intelligent 3 1/2 year old into thinking it is night time and he sleeps so soundly for so long. It helps me relax and regroup as it beats a rhythm on my windows and roof. Rainy afternoons are one of my favorite things.

Before the rain, J and I went grocery shopping today. He is really starting to come out of his shell. He noticed a vendor taking inventory in the store had a measuring tape on his belt and says, "Look, Mama, he has a measuring tape just like mine!" The man laughs and turns around and tells him hello and asks him how old he is. Now here is the moment I usually dread. Most of the time if someone engages my child in conversation, depending on his mood, he either (A) hides his face and peeks out at them shyly (the option we usually hope for), or (B) gets a horrible look on his face and growls at the person (very embarrassing for the parentals). Today he says, "I'm 3 years old, but I am fixing to be 4 in July!" I could not have been prouder! He spoke pleasantly and truthfully to another adult he wasn't used to! I could hear the Rocky theme playing in the background as we overcame this social battle on the salad dressing aisle today!

Lord, thank You for rain and complete polite sentences from preschoolers! You new I could use both today!